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I remember when I was just starting out with all this, and I was told "If you seek the answers with a clear heart, they will come." I believed that with all my heart... for a while. Then I realized that I wasn't getting the same answers as everyone else, and just assumed it meant that I would find "my truth," just as each of us would find their own truths. 

After a while that thought slowly changed track. I stopped using the word "truth" to mean something other than what it means, and decided to call it a path, or a frame of reference, or whatever word I could come up with other than "truth." I figured Truth was something that was out there, but each of us could only get a piece of it, and I still think that we're probably limited by what our physical forms can handle, that our backgrounds can only be transcended so far. Even when I touch something deeper than that, I have found that if I don't write it down it's lost, and if I do write it down I often cannot wrap my brain around whatever was so stunning while in that other frame of mind. But that's a side-path and not the core. At the core I still thought we each got our own answers when we seeked, and that no two answers would be the same.

Then I started re-reading Franz Bardon's Initiation Into Hermetics and found my own concept of everything being tied to elements reflected in his work. Fair enough, I thought; I read his work relatively early on and rather liked it, so perhaps that's where that idea of mine came from. But then I started reading his work on the tetrapolar magnet (something I'd never really understood fully), and more importantly the relationship of the elements.

There's a whole lot there that I'm not qualified to go into; if you're interested I advise you purchase the book and work through it from there. The important thing is that, for a while now, my "Me Cave" has been trying to rearrange itself. The layout it had been trying to change to was the same as that in Bardon's work.

Needless to say I was stunned by this realization. I pondered it overnight, and discussed it with a friend of mine the next day. Even the growth cycle I had thought I was reflecting with my old model worked better when Bardon's work was taken into account. That I learned something from the adept was not, however, what was so stunning. What stunned me was that his work was explaining to me something I had come to on my own, something that was a detail, that went against "conventional wisdom," and yet here was another who had come to the same conclusion.

My mind awhirl I began to discuss the situation with certain elders I trust, and through that discussion I finally reached the conclusion that it all converges. When you find the real thing, no matter what angle you come at it from, you find the same answers. It just takes years to learn to shut up and listen properly, and to learn to trust that there is something out there guiding your steps, or at least watching them.

You can get there from here. It all converges.

-Jaelle, 9/2/2001

Convergence Doubts Disobey Storm Song Remembering Spider Song